But what if I never get over you?

What if I continue to wake up every day of my fucking life & want you so badly that my bones shake so much that they feel like they’re going to break?

What if I keep waiting for a call or a text or a sign from God that never comes?

What if you were the one but I wasn’t?

What if you never loved me back? (via caramelcoatedxxxtacy) Tuesday Sep 9 @ 10:10pm with 8,154 notes

Lang Leav, Lullabies


Lang Leav, Lullabies

Monday Sep 9 @ 01:12pm with 1,682 notes
The person you think of when you stand in front of the ocean. That’s the person you’re in love with. (via drinkmor3vodka) Monday Sep 9 @ 01:07pm with 41,065 notes
Hang in there. It is astonishing how short a time it can take for very wonderful things to happen. Frances Hodgson Burnett  (via jewelsonthroats) Sunday Sep 9 @ 07:46pm with 7,595 notes
Does she scare you a little? Good. She should make you fear her love, so that when she lets you be apart of it, you won’t take it lightly. She should remind you of the power that beauty brings, that storms reside in her veins, and that she still wants you in the middle of it all. Do not take this soul for granted, for she is fierce, and she can take you places that you never thought you could go; but she is still loving in the midst of it all, like the calm rain after a storm, she can bring life. Learn her, and cherish her, respect her, and love her; for she is so much more than a pretty face, she is a soul on fire. T.B. LaBerge // Things I’m still learning at 25  (via jewelsonthroats) Sunday Sep 9 @ 07:43pm with 6,569 notes
Most days, it is my stomach that takes the hit for my love, but I am too busy apologising to my heart for all the times I have made it feel like a dog on a leash. The couple in the flat above me are arguing like crows over food. They turn their home into a public place, they turn their home into a court room where no one is the judge except for the furniture. He throws plates at the wall and she looks at him and remembers that he loved her once. He looks at her and thinks of all the ways a body can change. They both stay because they don’t know how not to. I sit a floor beneath them and think about water and think about my stomach and the things I have put it through for love. The last heartbreak was a sea flooding my lungs. The last heartbreak looked like a lone bible sitting on the floor of a burning church. A man prays for forgiveness in the middle of a war-zone, his eyebrows are on fire. God is listening through the space between two buildings but the man does not know he is there and he stays on his knees. This is either stupid or it is brave, either way, I want it. I am looking for calm like this, for love like this. My devotion takes more space than my body can warrant, my devotion is flammable and everything I touch becomes a forest fire that leaves scorch marks at the bottom of my stomach. I am sorry for my body, I am sorry that I have filled it with other people and forgotten to leave space for myself. I am sorry for all the howling nights that my love felt like a fist closed around the carnival of my insides. All the performers have left, and the place is in havoc. The lights are off and the lions are pawing at the ground and roaring. They are looking for something to eat. Soon they will start on me. I think about my stomach, I tell him that I love him, he tells me that this is too much and I apologise to my heart again for the fallout. I wonder if morticians prefer dead bodies because when you tell them ‘I love you’ their silence sounds like ‘I love you too’. Funeral homes are littered with people like this. They are talking to the dead and are thankful that the dead cannot talk back. Azra.T “Love song for my stomach and the wars it has eaten”  (via 5000letters) Sunday Sep 9 @ 06:14pm with 844 notes
I am very sad and I feel more miserable than I can say, and I do not know how far I’ve come. I do not know what to do or what to think, but vehemently desire to leave this place. Vincent van Gogh, from Letters (1875-1890) Sunday Sep 9 @ 02:42pm with 17,858 notes

Sunday Sep 9 @ 02:25pm with 240,658 notes

last night I cried myself to sleep
because at this point I don’t know if you’ll come back in two months, ten years, or not at all.
and it’s not fair for me to spend my life waiting.
but the thought of moving on makes me even more upset.
so once I finally fell asleep,
I dreamt you were there with me and I remember the way your lungs moved underneath your chest.
I dreamt your back was to me and I traced every freckle with my hand in the morning light.
I dreamt I kissed your shoulder - the one that always gives you problems - but then I woke up.
And in that sleepy haze I just wished your side of the bed could be full again.
I wanted to see your freckles instead of staring at the wall.
You’re always who I miss. It doesn’t matter if it’s 9 AM or 10 PM. Noon or midnight, 2 PM or 4 AM.
It’s always you.
Please come back.

Sunday Sep 9 @ 11:18am with 4 notes
For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a nebula must collapse.

So collapse.
This is not your destruction.

This is your birth.
n.t. (via astrasperas) Sunday Sep 9 @ 10:57am with 564,472 notes

I haven’t brushed my hair in weeks so tonight
my mother sat me down and ran a comb through the knows
honey, she sighs you have to get better at taking care of yourself
I’ve heard that keeping flowers after they’ve died is bad luck
but they never tell you what to do with the heart rotting in your chest
the smell is starting to alarm the neighbors they stand outside my window chanting
something must be done something must be done
I pull the flowers out of my closet and shove them to the bottom of the dumpster
my hand comes out with bits of trash clinging to it
but this is just my way of showing I’m trying to get better.

I still drink more wine than water
but I’ve started to look at my veins without wondering what they would look like split open
and I think that’s what my shrink calls progress
my sister gave me a stuffed animal of my greatest fear as a joke
but I don’t think it’s funny that I sleep with it every night
hold it to my chest like it’s salvation instead of damnation
I welcome monsters into my bed and set a place for them at breakfast
leave sugar out for their coffee
I’ve always been so good at loving monsters.

The last boy I kissed meant nothing to me but the last one in my bed is haunting me
I threw out the shirt I was wearing when I first met him even though it was my father’s
and any coffee mugs his lips touched are cracked in my trash
The last time I talked to him I said I just want to be the one you love best
and he cried because I wasn’t.

I wish the pictures on my wall could talk, that girl looks so happy
speak to me speak to me the night is so quiet
I’m too fucking sentimental these poems are getting me nowhere
how many pens have met their end while I try to explain this
how many notebooks have been destroyed while I try to bury this-
I wallpaper my room with my efforts and swallow the fragments
they glitter like crystal and scrape my throat the whole way down and still,
the only way I can fall asleep is underneath a world map
dreaming of places far enough away
that my heart forgets yours is beating too.

Fortesa Latifi - Wine & Water (via madgirlf) Sunday Sep 9 @ 01:28am with 563 notes
Friday Sep 9 @ 02:08pm with 21,546 notes
I meant to say, “I’m on the verge of a breakdown, and I want to die.” But it came out as, ‘I’m tired.’ (254/365) by (DS) Thursday Sep 9 @ 06:52pm with 4,506 notes
Just remember, even your worst days only have twenty-four hours 10 word story (via eteriese) Thursday Sep 9 @ 11:15am with 66,139 notes
I don’t want what we had with anyone else. I want you, I only want you, and it will always be you. We had something wonderful, but that something wonderful evolved into something undesirable, something toxic. But I’d still choose our toxicity over anything else. I don’t care if it harms me, I don’t care if it kills me, and I don’t care if that makes me stupid. Maybe I am stupid, maybe that’s why I’m still hung up on you. thoughts 8/2/14 (via depresant) Wednesday Sep 9 @ 06:51pm with 10,557 notes